My Darkroom-retread
from 26.09. until 3.10.2003
Night and day dreams, visions, apparitions, pulses, etc., as I during 7-day
dark treatment have (fasting) imagined and experienced. Written down by own
audio recordings.
Arrival at around 11:00. After a short presentation we watched together on the premises. After that I went straight into the darkness. It was a room with sloping walls, bathroom and toilet opposite. I emptied my suitcase. In the hallway was a closet where I hung my suit and shirt. The room contained a single bed without a border, a chair with armrests and a small mattress lying on the floor and a small low table.
I tried to memorize the locations. The linen for the next few days I put hand in the suitcase on the table. In the bathroom I noticed the toothbrush ready, bath salts and drinking cups.
It was quite chilly in the apartment on the 2nd floor. So I got dressed warm, long underwear, undershirt, and 2 pairs of socks, thick tracksuit and slippers. The light was turned off and I was alone in the dark.
I lay down on the bed and tried the rooms again introduce to find my way in it later.
Arrival Day 1.
My first realization was that I get this also a part nor indeed to credit.
The room was so I tried to think pretty cool me warm, I succeeded even partially.
2 day. I had a dream: I went to a streetcar, among us was a loud noise, as someone said, among us is a submarine. The train went on; suddenly broke the blanket on the drove the car and we were in the water. The bag I had with me all my money I lost. We were floating reach the shore. My identity card had but I do not know for what reasons, another woman, I could again have her, but very washed. That was all I had.
In the morning I took Holger a 1 1/2 liter carafe with warm water and a few teaspoons of sea salt to defecate. There is a yoga exercise from India. One should then also have little hunger. Sometime later I had a bowel movement that was quite fluid. Later I took a saltwater bath;
Arrival at around 11:00. After a short presentation we watched together on the premises. After that I went straight into the darkness. It was a room with sloping walls, bathroom and toilet opposite. I emptied my suitcase. In the hallway was a closet where I hung my suit and shirt. The room contained a single bed without a border, a chair with armrests and a small mattress lying on the floor and a small low table.
I tried to memorize the locations. The linen for the next few days I put hand in the suitcase on the table. In the bathroom I noticed the toothbrush ready, bath salts and drinking cups.
It was quite chilly in the apartment on the 2nd floor. So I got dressed warm, long underwear, undershirt, and 2 pairs of socks, thick tracksuit and slippers. The light was turned off and I was alone in the dark.
I lay down on the bed and tried the rooms again introduce to find my way in it later.
Arrival Day 1.
My first realization was that I get this also a part nor indeed to credit.
The room was so I tried to think pretty cool me warm, I succeeded even partially.
2 day. I had a dream: I went to a streetcar, among us was a loud noise, as someone said, among us is a submarine. The train went on; suddenly broke the blanket on the drove the car and we were in the water. The bag I had with me all my money I lost. We were floating reach the shore. My identity card had but I do not know for what reasons, another woman, I could again have her, but very washed. That was all I had.
In the morning I took Holger a 1 1/2 liter carafe with warm water and a few teaspoons of sea salt to defecate. There is a yoga exercise from India. One should then also have little hunger. Sometime later I had a bowel movement that was quite fluid. Later I took a saltwater bath;
I was surprised
at how good I could get my bearings. What I came out, I lay in bed, the upper
washing up, the underwear down. After that I had a slight headache, probably
coffee withdrawal.
I do not want to let me continue to be taught by people who have never experienced God. That's why I made my own way to experience God. The first step is this dark therapy, the next will follow.
I find anything I have experienced in the Black Forest in the woods in an old house with its own source and excellent vibration a Darkroom-retried, what I have experienced here is so wonderful that you can adequately describe it with words not. The first days were, however, very restless, the ego has raged, but then it was always quiet, the dried up flow of thought and I had the opportunity to come inside. My prayers were as deep as I had not experienced before, and I have meditated on the Lord's Prayer many times.
The Darkroom-retried is one of several initiation rituals as used in all ancient cultures and tribes to self-awareness.
In this house, everything is different. The walls are all painted by Holger itself. Men in natural size with excited penis photos from female pelvis, pubic hair and vaginal, something thigh to the navel. The house has a very good vibration, earlier you still knew where and how to build houses.
On 2nd night I had an experience of light, the whole room was filled with light yellow light, but there were no objects or contours to see only boundless light. It was like the darkness.
This morning it is well Sunday I had a contrary experience, it was an infinite wall in front of me, I did not see this as it was opaque, and they ranged from heaven to earth. I asked Christ to send me his light to penetrate this wall, but in vain. But they did not scare me, after a short time she was gone.
I make every day my body exercises, I strip across the floor and doing squats. I drink quite a bit and am not hungry.
Sunday afternoon, Holger brought me 2 pots of tea and we again had a very good discussion. I have my dream of tram tells him he said it was a very good dream, it shows that I'm ready as early as the 1st night to let everything human to throw everything overboard. He has this dream want to write; he has already written two books on dream interpretation, it is an important part of the Darkroom-retried.
I do not want to let me continue to be taught by people who have never experienced God. That's why I made my own way to experience God. The first step is this dark therapy, the next will follow.
I find anything I have experienced in the Black Forest in the woods in an old house with its own source and excellent vibration a Darkroom-retried, what I have experienced here is so wonderful that you can adequately describe it with words not. The first days were, however, very restless, the ego has raged, but then it was always quiet, the dried up flow of thought and I had the opportunity to come inside. My prayers were as deep as I had not experienced before, and I have meditated on the Lord's Prayer many times.
The Darkroom-retried is one of several initiation rituals as used in all ancient cultures and tribes to self-awareness.
In this house, everything is different. The walls are all painted by Holger itself. Men in natural size with excited penis photos from female pelvis, pubic hair and vaginal, something thigh to the navel. The house has a very good vibration, earlier you still knew where and how to build houses.
On 2nd night I had an experience of light, the whole room was filled with light yellow light, but there were no objects or contours to see only boundless light. It was like the darkness.
This morning it is well Sunday I had a contrary experience, it was an infinite wall in front of me, I did not see this as it was opaque, and they ranged from heaven to earth. I asked Christ to send me his light to penetrate this wall, but in vain. But they did not scare me, after a short time she was gone.
I make every day my body exercises, I strip across the floor and doing squats. I drink quite a bit and am not hungry.
Sunday afternoon, Holger brought me 2 pots of tea and we again had a very good discussion. I have my dream of tram tells him he said it was a very good dream, it shows that I'm ready as early as the 1st night to let everything human to throw everything overboard. He has this dream want to write; he has already written two books on dream interpretation, it is an important part of the Darkroom-retried.
He used to
be psychotherapy, but has stopped doing it; people want to be all made just
happy no one wants to go through the problem through.
I have such a drawing and shooting in the head, probably the pollutants are removed from the head.
Even our four conditions I spoke with Holger, he said almost word for word the same as Joshua, and it is no coincidence, special high addition. Many people could learn from it if they just want me to necessarily write about a small book.
In the night I saw three adjacent, slightly offset standing framed pictures of incredible brilliance and sharpness, much more beautiful than I have ever seen.
The pictures were Arab Muslims in shiny white long clothes and headgear. On 1st Praying were seen in the 2nd picture stood about men and the 3rd picture marching soldiers Uniformed, similar to those of the Bedouins.
We should not talk about our age, not even remember. Over so said Holger all souls about around 30 years and it should we keep.
Many participants come to Darkroom-retried with utensils, after a few days they leave everything behind and are just there.
I had just once again a very good talk with Holger. I told him the story at Aldi, there was an in line behind us standing push past us into the small gap that we (Margot Edith and I) had seen during a call immediately. Suddenly out of me erupted aggression that I could not control almost? It was not that long and I had wrapped myself with the man. If I had seen in other such things, I would probably have said, as a pack.
Then Holger told me that this is perfectly normal, as long as we still live in this polar world we have both in us. He told me stories of sages of the East, which I had not previously understood. One of its main tasks was to break even barriers, concepts and conventions. Frank my son lives in a partnership with child. For me he is now a good example, I know that now appreciating.
On the night of Monday to Tuesday I had an experience of light, I saw a bright yellow light which was brighter and more beautiful than the 1st time. The first light was dull and milky. But this was absolutely bright garish and limitless. This lighting experience cannot be described with words, its pure love. Light is Love.
A little later I saw as a white-tiled kitchen, in front of black bars was as railings. And again later, I saw another smaller light phenomenon.
That same night was floating in space during a dream a woman in front of me. I was awake and frightened what you want and where you come from, I asked her several times. Holger had said, to ask these questions in such phenomena. This woman came close up to me, she looked at me, went back something. She was middle-aged, wearing a coat and a hat similar to a small turban. I have never seen before. Go to Christ, I said several times to her, she then disappeared, without saying anything. She was neither ugly nor beautiful. I saw them only in dreams, then also in the waking state.
In the morning I had the first solid stool.
Presumably Tuesday morning. I have TV in my head. As if I race hovering or sitting in a helicopter over buildings and landscapes across that I had never seen before. They were all bright and futuristic in style to. I was not able to stop it, it raced with great speed past me, with eyes open and closed.
I find this Dark therapy and talking with Holger incredibly liberating. Things happen that are beyond our imagination.
Last night I had lost my bearings, I had to be careful not to panic. I got out of bed, after a long round-key, half asleep, I then found back to bed.
In the first days of darkness therapy raging ego, it chases a thought by the head are almost too much to bear. The ego fears death, it has nothing to do. The ego drives us constantly to do something. It believes the thoughts terrorist considers it alive. After a few days it is quiet in the head
It is the night of Wednesday, she is very restless, I was thinking constantly forced, I did not come to rest, not in my heart, the thoughts they raged, they have harassed me.
Later I had a dream; I saw a beautiful white paneled room. The panels were framed with gold. In the middle stood two dainty gold chairs, the constantly changing their shapes. The backrest had changed their shape; they were alternately times around times oval times square. It was as if on stage, I saw only 3 walls, or I was standing in the room. Somehow I learned that Margot, my wife and I should take on the chairs place. But I did not sit on us. Then all had to deal with a bank or savings bank. Approximately later, I heard on the radio, the rich town of Bayreuth will present something special to their citizens today, they will find it on the current electronic banners. What was it, I did not know.
Then I saw the mayor and his wife chauffeured in a noble car. The driver, a well-dressed young man with black pointed horizontal Schnauzer, he got out, put the mayor a gray noble hat on his head, matching the suit, and he led the mayor away with his wife.
Here I am learning to let me lead. If I let lead me, I will anyone ask for advice and just follow my inner voice. I have the freedom to follow, my inner voice or not to follow her. To follow the inner voice, they do not suppress by external noise and to obey this voice consistently. Then freedom, a wonderful life begins. If we obey our inner voice consistently happens to us all by itself.
To follow the inner voice to it-listen to it and obey it consistently. Before you have but all the barriers, breaking all concepts, everything has to be dissolved in order to be free for the inner voice. If you do not do it, then you always abuts the homemade itself erected borders.
To listen to an inner voice to learn, you can probably only under extreme or life-threatening conditions or situations.
I found my way to God, I'm going with Christ, and I do not need more community.
I listen to the voice of God and going out of the messengers of God.
I follow the inner voice, I obey her plead what she tells me.
Then I fulfill gradually the mission of my life on earth, each step is already a part of fulfilling this task.
This insight is probably only be obtained with consistent compliance with an inside path or in extreme conditions or in life-threatening situations.
The dream of the white-golden room and the mayor both has the same icon that Margot and I have an adorable rich intimate relationship. So Holger dream interpretation.
Dream: Two-legged stool and table made of stainless steel, with leather seats, still packed in the supermarket I liked so much that I began screw it immediately together. Then I liked them but not so good, I started to think about where I could make it, found no place for screwed it apart again and grabbed her again. Holger was the dream not interpreted correctly so, for me the true meaning was the fact premeditate very closely when I buy something if I've ever needed.
My inner voice told with just me to break away from the spiritual community to which I belong for years.
Holger had recommended my inner voice asking what me well so imminent. At first I hesitated and thought she would in time tell me something. But then I did but asked very carefully whether they want to tell me what to expect that. For a long time, perhaps hours passed before she answered me.
After a deep prayer I had this image.
I saw a picture of a female abdomen from the thighs to the navel, black pubic hair and a large oval vagina, in which a fire was burning like in a boiler of a steam locomotive. It was like a fire pit of everything devoured, large wide and deep.
The inner voice is obtained when you are ready for it.
It was at the beginning of heavy hours, the ego raged like a wild monkey in the cage.
Later plagued me even a few hours the impatience.
Holger is a great teacher of wisdom for me. I have often desired, such as meeting a man him. However, we have different opinions in some areas.
A few days ago I saw shapely woman body with plump breasts in tight bikinis, initially only from the side and from behind. When they turned around and I saw her from the front, I was appalled by their faces, they looked horribly out, and their faces only consisted of square boxes, completely disfigured.
Earlier I stumbled and nearly fell. You come here only safe and without bumps you get when you consistently lives in the here and now, that entirely on the focus what you are doing.
The Chinese Gong has played Holger me last evening permeated the entire house and brought my whole body into a raised vibration.
I will go my way to God with Christ in the heart alone. On our way back to the eternal home, we also need the Eva who is the symbol of the feminine, take back; integrated in us, add them to us.
We need to reach the state that we no longer recognize good and evil, where there is no longer the realization only eternal boundless being, Paradise or Nirvana.
• I am listening to my inner voice and be led by God and His Messenger.
• I follow the inner voice, I obey her plead what she tells me.
• Then gradually I fulfill the mission of my life on earth.
At 3:10. I did in the morning a walk in the woods. The study showed that Holger and I several hours talking and breakfast.
I have such a drawing and shooting in the head, probably the pollutants are removed from the head.
Even our four conditions I spoke with Holger, he said almost word for word the same as Joshua, and it is no coincidence, special high addition. Many people could learn from it if they just want me to necessarily write about a small book.
In the night I saw three adjacent, slightly offset standing framed pictures of incredible brilliance and sharpness, much more beautiful than I have ever seen.
The pictures were Arab Muslims in shiny white long clothes and headgear. On 1st Praying were seen in the 2nd picture stood about men and the 3rd picture marching soldiers Uniformed, similar to those of the Bedouins.
We should not talk about our age, not even remember. Over so said Holger all souls about around 30 years and it should we keep.
Many participants come to Darkroom-retried with utensils, after a few days they leave everything behind and are just there.
I had just once again a very good talk with Holger. I told him the story at Aldi, there was an in line behind us standing push past us into the small gap that we (Margot Edith and I) had seen during a call immediately. Suddenly out of me erupted aggression that I could not control almost? It was not that long and I had wrapped myself with the man. If I had seen in other such things, I would probably have said, as a pack.
Then Holger told me that this is perfectly normal, as long as we still live in this polar world we have both in us. He told me stories of sages of the East, which I had not previously understood. One of its main tasks was to break even barriers, concepts and conventions. Frank my son lives in a partnership with child. For me he is now a good example, I know that now appreciating.
On the night of Monday to Tuesday I had an experience of light, I saw a bright yellow light which was brighter and more beautiful than the 1st time. The first light was dull and milky. But this was absolutely bright garish and limitless. This lighting experience cannot be described with words, its pure love. Light is Love.
A little later I saw as a white-tiled kitchen, in front of black bars was as railings. And again later, I saw another smaller light phenomenon.
That same night was floating in space during a dream a woman in front of me. I was awake and frightened what you want and where you come from, I asked her several times. Holger had said, to ask these questions in such phenomena. This woman came close up to me, she looked at me, went back something. She was middle-aged, wearing a coat and a hat similar to a small turban. I have never seen before. Go to Christ, I said several times to her, she then disappeared, without saying anything. She was neither ugly nor beautiful. I saw them only in dreams, then also in the waking state.
In the morning I had the first solid stool.
Presumably Tuesday morning. I have TV in my head. As if I race hovering or sitting in a helicopter over buildings and landscapes across that I had never seen before. They were all bright and futuristic in style to. I was not able to stop it, it raced with great speed past me, with eyes open and closed.
I find this Dark therapy and talking with Holger incredibly liberating. Things happen that are beyond our imagination.
Last night I had lost my bearings, I had to be careful not to panic. I got out of bed, after a long round-key, half asleep, I then found back to bed.
In the first days of darkness therapy raging ego, it chases a thought by the head are almost too much to bear. The ego fears death, it has nothing to do. The ego drives us constantly to do something. It believes the thoughts terrorist considers it alive. After a few days it is quiet in the head
It is the night of Wednesday, she is very restless, I was thinking constantly forced, I did not come to rest, not in my heart, the thoughts they raged, they have harassed me.
Later I had a dream; I saw a beautiful white paneled room. The panels were framed with gold. In the middle stood two dainty gold chairs, the constantly changing their shapes. The backrest had changed their shape; they were alternately times around times oval times square. It was as if on stage, I saw only 3 walls, or I was standing in the room. Somehow I learned that Margot, my wife and I should take on the chairs place. But I did not sit on us. Then all had to deal with a bank or savings bank. Approximately later, I heard on the radio, the rich town of Bayreuth will present something special to their citizens today, they will find it on the current electronic banners. What was it, I did not know.
Then I saw the mayor and his wife chauffeured in a noble car. The driver, a well-dressed young man with black pointed horizontal Schnauzer, he got out, put the mayor a gray noble hat on his head, matching the suit, and he led the mayor away with his wife.
Here I am learning to let me lead. If I let lead me, I will anyone ask for advice and just follow my inner voice. I have the freedom to follow, my inner voice or not to follow her. To follow the inner voice, they do not suppress by external noise and to obey this voice consistently. Then freedom, a wonderful life begins. If we obey our inner voice consistently happens to us all by itself.
To follow the inner voice to it-listen to it and obey it consistently. Before you have but all the barriers, breaking all concepts, everything has to be dissolved in order to be free for the inner voice. If you do not do it, then you always abuts the homemade itself erected borders.
To listen to an inner voice to learn, you can probably only under extreme or life-threatening conditions or situations.
I found my way to God, I'm going with Christ, and I do not need more community.
I listen to the voice of God and going out of the messengers of God.
I follow the inner voice, I obey her plead what she tells me.
Then I fulfill gradually the mission of my life on earth, each step is already a part of fulfilling this task.
This insight is probably only be obtained with consistent compliance with an inside path or in extreme conditions or in life-threatening situations.
The dream of the white-golden room and the mayor both has the same icon that Margot and I have an adorable rich intimate relationship. So Holger dream interpretation.
Dream: Two-legged stool and table made of stainless steel, with leather seats, still packed in the supermarket I liked so much that I began screw it immediately together. Then I liked them but not so good, I started to think about where I could make it, found no place for screwed it apart again and grabbed her again. Holger was the dream not interpreted correctly so, for me the true meaning was the fact premeditate very closely when I buy something if I've ever needed.
My inner voice told with just me to break away from the spiritual community to which I belong for years.
Holger had recommended my inner voice asking what me well so imminent. At first I hesitated and thought she would in time tell me something. But then I did but asked very carefully whether they want to tell me what to expect that. For a long time, perhaps hours passed before she answered me.
After a deep prayer I had this image.
I saw a picture of a female abdomen from the thighs to the navel, black pubic hair and a large oval vagina, in which a fire was burning like in a boiler of a steam locomotive. It was like a fire pit of everything devoured, large wide and deep.
The inner voice is obtained when you are ready for it.
It was at the beginning of heavy hours, the ego raged like a wild monkey in the cage.
Later plagued me even a few hours the impatience.
Holger is a great teacher of wisdom for me. I have often desired, such as meeting a man him. However, we have different opinions in some areas.
A few days ago I saw shapely woman body with plump breasts in tight bikinis, initially only from the side and from behind. When they turned around and I saw her from the front, I was appalled by their faces, they looked horribly out, and their faces only consisted of square boxes, completely disfigured.
Earlier I stumbled and nearly fell. You come here only safe and without bumps you get when you consistently lives in the here and now, that entirely on the focus what you are doing.
The Chinese Gong has played Holger me last evening permeated the entire house and brought my whole body into a raised vibration.
I will go my way to God with Christ in the heart alone. On our way back to the eternal home, we also need the Eva who is the symbol of the feminine, take back; integrated in us, add them to us.
We need to reach the state that we no longer recognize good and evil, where there is no longer the realization only eternal boundless being, Paradise or Nirvana.
• I am listening to my inner voice and be led by God and His Messenger.
• I follow the inner voice, I obey her plead what she tells me.
• Then gradually I fulfill the mission of my life on earth.
At 3:10. I did in the morning a walk in the woods. The study showed that Holger and I several hours talking and breakfast.
Around noon I left Holger towards home. My sense of hearing was so sensitized that I move my car stopped, because of alleged noise. But there were only the normal driving noise.
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